A quick reminder that this post is about past events. Chemo brings ups and downs, with more downs than ups at the time I started this. If I'm posting this I'm in a much better place now.
And a reminder about this page that has information about things that cause me stress - or not. Thanks much my friends.
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Ah. Black Day(s) in July. It all started 7/19 when I inadvertently flushed a Common Pauraque from its recently laid nest next to a park bench. I called the staff to mark the area off limits and moved away until they came, less than 10 minutes later. When we re-checked the nest, one egg was gone and one was broken, but the nest had the typical 2 eggs in perfect condition and freshly laid when I found it. That made me feel terrible, even though the choice of nest location - two feet from a bench in the middle of a clearing - was the female Pauraque's choice and not mine, I was the one that flushed her and showed the Green Jays where the nest and eggs were. It's not the Green Jay's fault, they are likely calcium-limited and seek out eggs and chicks as an important part of their diet, much like their more northern cousins. But still. That made me sad.
I had a CT scan on Monday 7/15. The results, which I picked up on Monday 7/22 (after a mostly sleepless weekend) showed no change in any of the tumor dimensions, including the critical distance the vena cava is occluded. I've written before about one of the worst things - a test taken and results unknown. It erodes my confidence, my happiness, and my tolerance. These things are in limited supply to start with but with a test outstanding and a long long LONG weekend to sit through until I can get those results I'm down. There's no other way to put it, here with a purple goose egg on my left arm from the CT tech's blown out vein and achy from lack of sleep. Not knowing is THE WORST.
I went in for my pre-chemo appointment and my Chemo Doctor (I hear some of you are confused by the numbering, she's awesome Doctor 7) had options lined up for me to discuss. She and the Surgeon (Doctor 6) had discussed my case and agreed there was no reason to continue on the former drugs. So we've picked a new one, and are running it by the insurance company and getting all the ducks in a row to reschedule chemo with the new drug. We have a plan in place going forward. I'm not as happy as I would be if I'd had results on the first drug, but I'm ready to be done with that drug. The good news is the neuropathy (new side effect) and tinnitus (old side effect) are supposed to go away with the end of the old drug regime. I'm just happy that I didn't lose my hearing - one of the side effects that freaked me out for this drug - for little or no results. I can't imagine not hearing the birds. The new drug has scary side effects too, just different ones. I'll still be bald, but I really don't care about that.
So it's like a SNOW DAY for me today, no blood test today, no chemo tomorrow, whoop!
