Not helpful
These things can be a major source of emotion and stress for me, which might surprise you.
- Phone calls
- Visits to my house
- Facebook messages about cancer / hope / survival
- Telling me to be strong (don't remind me how much of this awful fight I have left)
- Telling me how my cancer makes you feel (don't feel sorry for me or mourn my death prematurely).
- Touching me if we meet face to face (you could make me sick while I'm undergoing chemo, or like one man last year hit an IV line bruise. I get stuck a LOT).
- Offer ideas for second opinions, places to go or people to see regarding treatment, unless you're an oncologist (maybe not even then).
- Special diets, cures, or treatments.
- Articles or books or links on cancer, cancer doctors, surviving cancer, treating cancer, living through cancer treatment life after cancer, or anything with the word cancer or about a life threatening illness (I know how to google).
- Stories of other cancer patients (happy or sad). Sorry, this time it's about me. I don't WANT to hear about others. Their/Your experience is not in any way related to mine.
- Comments on my weight or keeping the weight off, my changing appearance (hair, skin, nails, anything).
- Questions about my cancer or treatment.
- I'm holding off any financial funding raisers for now. I have insurance and savings. I may need to do a fundraiser late this year (2019) if I am unable to work much this year. If you don't know, ACA insurance needs you to work and show income to get a discount on cost. Health fundraisers can count as income, making it a win-win. But if I make too much I have to repay that discount. So I'm holding off.
Helpful
- Texts, emails, Messenger messages (I'll get back to you when I can).
- Jokes (we all need more humor).
- Pictures (birds, nature, habitat, people, whatever).
- Suggestions for things to watch on TV, streaming video, and DVDs (I've been watching more TV than ever).
- Suggestions for books to read or listen to as audiobooks. I'm looking for light reading (NOTHING with cancer or cancer treatment, light reading heavy on mystery and sci-fi or fiction). Don't send books, I have no room for more non-bird books. Just send titles.
I'll add to this list as I identify things that cheer me up or depress me.
